is the search really over?

for me, it isn’t. i don’t even know if it’s already halfway through. let me just clarify, i am neither bitter nor jaded. it’s just that i’m tired. i’m tired of playing games, of non-sensical flirting, of attracting the wrong guys (i think i’m either a gay or a priest or just a plain ol’ creepy guy magnet), and of getting attracted to guys who never like me back (either because they couldn’t or they just don’t). waaaahhh…so when will THE SEARCH be truly over? i think that’s the more appropriate question to ask.

maybe, it’s best to just end THE SEARCH right here and now, but for a reason different than a fairy tale ending. i’m quitting though it’s not yet over because i’m tired and i don’t know what to do. not that i’ve been actively searching for mr. right – that’s simply just a wrong impression that a blockmate of mine has about me. in a phone conversation, the said blockmate told me that i’m a “lalakero” and buti na lang God didn’t make me a guy because I would’ve been such a playboy. another blockmate of mine said a semester or two ago na baka may fear of intimacy raw ako. well, i truly, truly beg to disagree!!! coz yang mga lalakeng yan, di ko naman sila nilalapitan, di ko naman pinapaasa, di ko naman pinaglalaruan. di ko naman sinasadya if it always never works out between me & a guy i’m seeing. di ko naman ginugustong magkaroon palagi ng sablay somewhere! grrrr…i’m just so annoyed with those impressions that blockmate of mine has about me. grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

nakakainis! hindi talaga nakakatuwa. at nakakapagod na rin. kaya i’m quitting even though it’s not yet truly over…tutal, there are other better things in life than futile and aborted romantic liaisons!

…okay, okay, just taking a hiatus of sorts na lang siguro…tutal mahirap magsalita ng patapos, right?

hahaha… šŸ˜›


2 thoughts on “is the search really over?

  1. Romel says:

    That song, “Part the Waters,” reminds me of my high school days and my old church choir back in Lagao, General Santos City. Tsk, nostalgia is getting the better of me again, memories of friends I’ve lost and probably won’t be seeing in this life again, puppy loves, the old days when life was much more simple and I wasn’t thinking about so many things and responsibilities.

    But maybe you should compose a song in riposte to that popular ditty and it should be entitled “Prinsesa ng Sablay…” šŸ™‚ just kidding…


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