prayer, reflections

my prayer for the year that was and for the one that is to come

i have this annual tradition of reflecting on the year that was from a wholistic perspective on new year’s eve.  this year, instead of writing down top learnings in the past year, i chose to write a prayer which integrates learnings and aspirations for the year that is to come.  (see Psalm 50 din pala, if you want, that was what I was reflecting on last night after writing the following prayer)

Dec 31, 2005 (10pm)

Dear Heavenly Father,

I want to thank You and praise You for the year that was.  It wasn’t an easy one for me as I struggled through a lot.  I learned patience and am still learning the art of living by faith the hard way.  Sometimes, I’d stumble and falter…I’d grumble and curse my fate, as I was in the midst of giving up in the face of difficult times.  But You, oh Lord, held me up.  You gave me fortitude of spirit and character in the midst of compromising situations.  You gave me wisdom in the face of crossroads.  You were my joy amidst the loneliness and solitude that surrounded me.  I praise You, oh Lord, for holding me in the palm of Your hand.  Thank You so much for Your daily mercies and faithfulness, for your patient yet stubborn love for me.  and You have gently taught me to be thankful inspite and despite of…for in whatever circumstance I may be in, there was and there will always be You, oh Lord.

Thank you for the love, encouragement, affirmation and friendship that You have allowed me to experience through my family.  Each one of us may have been scarred in the past, but I know Lord that You are slowly healing the wounds in the hearts of my family members.  I pray for continued closure of such wounds in 2006.  And please enable me to be a more loving and responsible daughter, sister, grand daughter, niece cousin and aunt to my family.

Thank You for better grades and for legal concepts that You have enabled me to learn in 2005.  I’m sorry, Father, if I have complained a lot of times about the difficulties and not-so-splendid nuances in law school, when I should have been more thankful that You have brought me to the mecca of legal education in the Philippines known as Malcolm Hall.  Instead, I should have pressed on harder, further, knowing that You continue to be my infinite Source of help, wisdom and motivation.  I pray for a better attitude, better absorption of concepts and better grades.  Thank You because I know that You who have brought me this far will see to it that I shall cross the bridges that I ought to, and reach Your promised land.  All the more will I depend on You, Lord, in the last half of my stint in law school and beyond.

Thank You for Your material blessings.  There were a lot of things that I surely did not expect.  You replaced each loss with blessings worth 10 times more than what I was deprived of possessing.  I praise You because You have provided for more than my daily bread.  Thank You for being so proactive in giving me provisions that You didn’t even allow me to indulge in thoughts of worry about my financial and material status.  Indeed, you always made and will continue to make ways that I can and can’t see.  Father, this year, I pray that you teach how to be a better steward of the resources that You have given me.  That I would use such resources, not just for my own benefit, but to help bless others as well.

Thank You, Father for friends – brothers and sisters – through whom I have felt Your love and concern.  Thank You for allowing our paths to cross and for giving us time to bond and share each others’ joys and burdens.  Father, I pray that in the coming year, You would enable me to be a greater blessing to these people whose lives You have allowed to intertwine with mine.  I pray for more friends and for deeper friendships, as well, with the friends that You have sent my way.

Thank You for fillng in voids in my life the best wy You know how.  Indeed, Lord I owe it all to You because You know me better than I know myself.  You always know what to give me in Your perfct time, wrapped in the best possible package.  Thank You because You always follow through on Your plaans, which are best for me.  Thank You for dealing with me gently as You taught me the virtues of patience and waiting on Your will.  Specifically, Lord, I pray for Your will regarding Mike and this budding friendship &/or relationship between us.  Thank You for how much a blessing and an answered prayer he has been to me.  Yet if it is not Your will, please nip this in the bud.  On the other hand, if it is, please continue to make the paths smooth – devoid of scheming and machinations especially on my part.  Whatever happens, please be with us every step of the way and be glorified through us, oh Lord.

Father, I pray for passion and direction in all of my pursuits.  I pray that YOu would direct me into ministries (in the church, in school, in the workplace and elsewhere) where You could use the talents, experiences, learnings and abilities that You have given me.  Direct my priorities, Father.  I pray for commitments in the vesper choir, charivari & LCF.  I lay them down at Your feet.  May I never rely on my own strength lest I get burned out.  I especially pray for the following decisions: whether or not I should run for LSG VP, whether or not I should retain my IILS and M2Caash jobs.  Father, I submit these choices before You, knowing that if You respond to my queries in the affirmative, You would grant me successes and richly enable me to accomplish tasks at hand.  Yet if You reply with resounding no’s, help me to just trust Your heart, and be at peace, knowing that it is Your will and not mine which ought to unfold.  In the midst of the whirl of activity, please give times of rest and refreshing when You deem it best to soothe my weary intellect, body, soul and spirit.

Lord, this coming year, let me be even more attuned to whatever it is You want to reveal to me.  Lead me as You ingrain in my being the art of living by faith.  Teach me to rely on Your word even more.  More than ever now, let me be a woman after Your own heart, after Your own will.  Shape me and mold me, Lord, into the woman You desire me to be.  I know, Lord, that it is only in You that I could truly find the desires of my heart.

Thank You, Lord, and I look forward to 2006, another year in You.

In Jesus’ wonderful and mighty name, I pray, Amen.

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