what to do?

currently in seattle’s best, tektite na ginagawa kong library. just got out of an M2Cash business planning meeting with boss rudi, manny fong (sm supermarket ceo), wendell ty (sm supermarket gm for operations), joel monasterial & tina capuno (e-com itac big bosses)…rubbing elbows with these bigwigs! hehehe. pero syempre, after that, back to law student mode ako, nilabas ko na ang mga baon kong admin outline & digests. buti na lang yung mga cases ko sa admin nasa pc ko (yup, nag-a-attempt pa akong magbasa ng cases in the original), that way hindi bulky.

anyway, that’s not really the point why i’m writing in here. kanina, sa meeting, napaisip ako. at ito ang mga thoughts ko (stream of consciousness writing daw ba): it seems kasi na ang daming opportunities na pwede. yung potential salary nga ng taong mag-r-report sa kin nasa 50-60K eh! but of course, full time yon, eh ako, part-time lang naman kaya i don’t question the disparity between what i’m getting & the aforesaid amount.

napag-isip-isip ko lang and i discussed some possibilities kanina with rudi…what if mag-evening class kaya ako? kahit kapantay ko ng salary ang subordinate ko, ok na. ang work hours ko 9-4 mondays to fridays. tapos law school sa gabi at saturdays. (pag nasa ortigas rin ako, maybe mike & i cld have lunch more often). at pwede kong i-negotiate na magkaroon ng car loan. syempre, business contacts din…imagine, ngayon pa nga lang, rubbing elbows with those tycoons! tsaka i feel very flattered na parang ang laki ng tiwala nila sa kin (siguro kasi in a way, they’ve seen me grow?) tapos when the robinsons deal gets closed, rubbing elbows naman with the gokongwei’s! di ba, ang sosyal? hehe.

yun nga lang, i would have to give up a couple of things:

1. my IILS job – di ko rin naman ganun ka-love…sorry, but that’s the truth. i admit, it’s something na pang-augment lang ng resume, in case gustuhin ko man mag-LLM in the future (para may edge naman ako, eh di ko naman maipagmamalaki na nasa top-top ako ng batch ko in UP law, might as well create my own competitive advantage). kaso, nr-realize ko ngayon, parang di rin naman yata yun ang path na gusto kong i-tread. sure, i wanna be an expert in something. but making publications is such a tasking drudgery for me. hindi ko feel na strength ko yon eh. at hindi ko rin ganun ka-feel ang mga RTD. although, syempre, ma-mi-miss ko ang mga tao kasi mababait sila sa kin (sina ate au, ate leny, ate linda, kuya fitz, kuya mars, marnie, jason, etc)

kanina nga sa peptalk namin ni rudi (coz i was asking for advice re: what to do), he told me na even from the start, he saw that my strengths like in: business planning, account penetration (wag kang bastos! this basically pertains to people skills) and problem-solving. parang kung IILS-LLM, etc yung career path na piliin ko, di ko ma-e-exercise yon eh. eh syempre, if one doesn’t get to use his/her talents, the talents get pretty rusty. versus if i take the corporate law-chief legal counsel/CFO-CEO-own business/cabinet appointee (i can dream, can’t i?) career path, baka mas okay pa.

2. my other orgs in law school – huhuhu…much as i love to work for all pa rin, i need to let go of 3. syempre, pa-attend-attend pa rin ng LCF kung pasok sa sked. assuming arguendo i’d run & win, LSG na lang ang ma-r-retain sa priorities ko. iniisip ko tuloy, kung ganun, tama ba na VP ang takbuhan? o dapat treasurer?

3. my blockmates – syempre, i’d miss them. i’d miss them all. especially yung mga naging super ka-close ko (former housemates & friends, grp 2 grpmates, admin grpmates). but then again, who says friendships will end if i move to the evening class? si jok din naman may evening classes eh. maybe magiging magk-klase kami. and pag nag-electives na, halo-halo na rin naman ang composition ng lahat ng classes. tsaka advantage din naman nun, i’d have more friends.

4. my 4yr tenure – syempre if i go to evening class, it’ll take me 5yrs instead of 4 to finish law school. before kasi, i was in such a hurry…i wanted to finish early kasi sabi ko, right after law school, mag-aasawa na ako. hahahaha! but who says i have to be in a hurry? di ba? do i have to be? kaya pa naman siguro i-accomodate ng biological clock di ba? tsaka kelangan ko ba talagang makisabay sa iba? tsaka siguro naman yung guy, makakapag-intay, di ba? (wala lang, gusto ko lang kasi when i get my law degree or pass the bar, yung family name na baldrias ang nasa certificate / lalabas sa newspapers…or basta, bahala na si God dito sa aspect na ito).

syempre, pinag-iisipan ko pa kung ano ba ang dapat kong gawin…pinagdadasal. humihingi/hihingi rin ako ng advice sa mga tao. gusto ng maraming perspectives. baka may ma-miss ako eh. although medyo matagal-tagal ko na rin namang pinag-pr-pray kung ano ba talaga ang dapat kong gawin. kasi syempre, in addition to these career planning decisions & roles that i wanna play, there are also other aspects of my life na gusto kong bigyan ng space. like what if in the future, i get married and have a family na, syempre i wanna be a good wife & mother naman di ba? and such roles would require that i have time for the family, di ba? yoko namang mag-manage ng household by remote control…or via a pseudo principal-agent relationship (ako, principal tapos household help yung agent). syempre gusto ko maging super mom…idol ko naman ang mom ko and i want to give her credit for how she brought me up by emulating her good qualities (syempre, wag na yung bad…hahaha, buti na lang, walang friendster account si mommy. haha!). pero marami pa akong kailangang matutunan eh…lalo na ngayon, these days, napapamukha talaga sa kin how undomesticated i am… nakakahiya nga eh.

anyway, definitely, these are matters to sleep on…sana if you get to read my blog, pag-pray nyo rin ako re: these decisions, ha? 🙂

(p.s. darn it, naubos na wi-fi card, ang mahal-mahal tapos ang bilis-bilis maubos!…i guess this just means, kelangan ko na mag-aral ulit. i should hold this post na lang & upload later when i get home.)

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One thought on “what to do?

  1. Cherry Vi says:

    Comments daw so here’s my two cents:
    1. If hindi mo feel yung path na IILS wag mo na ituloy. Sayang oras.
    2. Treasurer na lang. The best person na treasurer is a CPA.
    3. Mababait ang mga evening students.
    4. Maraming pwedeng mangyari in one year. So think this over. As to getting married while in school, this can be done. You can opt not to change your name so Baldrias pa rin nasa certificate. I do advice against getting pregnant and having a baby while in school or reviewing for the bar. You can be a good wife and mother, wag lang masyadong maraming pinagsasabay.
    god bless, chebay

    Like

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