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an email sa highschool batch egroup namin

nyarx….this post attempts to be funny but is sad actually…it is unfortunately reflective of the general reality in philippine politics these days  😦 
 
call me an optimistic idealist but i believe that within our generation, the face of philippine politics will improve…it’s gonna be a really steep uphill climb nga lang.  but you know what, in fairness, there are actually a lot of talented, smart and highly qualified potential leaders who choose to stay in the country.  kaya let’s not lose hope.  and where ever we are right now, what ever paths we’re currently in, let’s just do our best…let’s all do what we can, coz each one of us plays a vital role in nation building.  (sensya na ha, i just feel so passionately about this topic)
 
anyway, for those who are in the QC area, we’re planning to hold a forum for senatorial candidates, as well as a party-list fair (medyo tentative yung party list fair but baka we might hold one tlaga).   baka makapunta kayo (open to all naman sya)…it’s a good chance to interact with these people who’d want to be elected (tipong fire away, ask them what you’ve always wanted to, no holds barred).  sa malcolm hall in UP diliman lang yung venue, malamang it’ll be within the next 2 weeks.  details to follow when they’re firmed up.   may batchmates ba tayong nasa media?  (likha?)  baka pwedeng ipa-cover yung event.  🙂
 

 

On 2/26/07, mark pasayan <pasayan_md@yahoo.com> wrote:


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QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ON PHILIPPINE ELECTIONS

 


What is a Philippine election?
It all begins when the country’s brightest, most highly qualified inhabitants, the young dynamic professionals, citizens who have the potential to make good leaders, get together and examine the country’s problems, the state of politics and the long-term national prospects

 

What happens next?
They decide to emigrate

 

And after that?
Another group of bright people get together

 

What do they do?
They also emigrate

 

And then?
And so on and so forth

 

What does any of this have to do with a Philippine election?
When talented, smart and highly qualified potential leaders leave the country all the time, who are you left with?

 

Retired baskteball players? Toilet comedians? Bad actors and actresses? Spoiled vicious rich kids? Ageing and debauched hermaphrodites?
You’re now ready to hold a Philippine election

 

How important are elected officials to the Philippines?
Nobody’s been able to figure out an answer to that one

 

What’s at stake in a Philippine election?
Prizes and surprises! Millions in cash! Dream houses! The vacations of your choice! Fun for the entire family! That’s from the politician’s point of view

 

How many positions are waiting to be filled in the coming elections?
About 17,000 public offices and a still undetermined number of graves

 

So it’s like a lotto?
Sort of, except that when you lose you could lose your life

 

Who are qualified to run?
Anyone at all! Generally, any person of any citizenship who’s alive, of a certain age, good character and able to summon a mob huge enough to intimidate the Supreme Court

 

What kind of candidates have the most chances of winning?
A
RTISTS who have the CONFIDENCE of the people

 

You mean “con artists”, don’t you?
You said it, we didn’t

 

Who are qualified to vote?
Anyone at all. Typically, anyone who’s willing to be bussed around and go a hard day’s work visiting a lot of precints during election day.

 

Talk about parties in the Philippines
Everybody loves going to parties in the Philippines

 

No, POLITICAL parties
Oh!. Well, in the past there used to be only two parties, the Liberalistas and the Nacionalistas. Now there are several dozen, but they still all fall under two main parties: the Sosyalites and the Opportunistas

 

What’s the difference between the two parties?
Sosyalites love parties. Opportunistas will join any

 

Explain what this year’s presidential elections is all about
Did you hear the one about the murderer, the thief, the incompetent and the idiot?

 

No, is that a joke?
That’s the presidential election

 

You’re a cynical bastard, aren’t you?
No no no, we’re not running for office

 

Why are there so many international observers who come to a Philippine election?
They’re fascinated by all the strange phenomena which accompany it

 

What are you talking about?
Miracles are a dime a dozen during elections here. Vicious criminals suddenly become saintly leaders. Voters fly. The dead cast their ballots. Morons become national leaders.

 

Why is the Church so closely involved in elections?
They’re also interested in studying the miracles. Also, priests are needed to administer the last sacraments to all the people who’re killed

 

Philippine elections sound like they’re really violent and bloody
Not really. Not more than several dozen die on the average. Why that’s only a teensy fraction of the population! And everything blows over after election day, so the country can bet back to its usual kidnapping, wholesale graft, hostage taking and coup attempts

 

How clean are Philippine elections?
Let’s put it this way: if Philippine elections were your house you wouldn’t want to live in it

 

What are “guns, goons and gold”?
Three traditional important elements of a successful election. There’s a new one: film credits

 

How come this pamphlet doesn’t include a question that goes “why can’t all candidates just jump in the lake”?
That question looks like it was just gratuitously put into this article for very naughty

purposes. We decline to answer it

 

How can you tell an election outcome is suspicious?
Power failures in very specific rooms where the counting is taking place. Numbers that start losing zeroes as the days go by.

 

Can’t the candidates, out of the goodness of their hearts, put a stop to crooked elections?
You really ARE from another planet, aren’t you?


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3 thoughts on “an email sa highschool batch egroup namin”

  1. messenger

    Nowadays there is a lot of IM application for mobile phone. I have try out turbo MSN, etc.

    Up to now, I find out that there is a good application to share with you guys here. Anyone heard of mig33? The application allows us to use Instant Messenger [Yahoo, MSN, and AOL], cheap calls, SMS and chat room. You can have a try on the application at http://www.mig33.com

    Other than that, the application is free to download. There will be only charges for GPRS usage [Telco charge] and mig33 will only charge for voice calls and SMS only. Others like chat room and IM are all free.

    After I notice about this application, I have deleted all my previous IM because I prefer to use this. Everything builds in one application. That’s sound great.

    Like

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