career, some days in my life as a law student

drowning in a sea of responsibilities

i’d gladly trade places with people on vacation or who have very few responsibilities right now.  because i never learn, once more, i have bitten more than i could chew.  only this time, some responsibilities on my shoulders are not by choice.  nagkataon lang talaga.  like nagkataon na panganay kasi ako.  nagkataon na hindi kasi kami mayaman.  i even try to shun away from responsibility na.  but they seem to hound me pa rin.  i just want to rest lang naman.  kahit for a while lang.  that’s all.  anu-ano bang responsibilities ‘to?

1.  as a law student – malapit na ang finals week.  i’m starting to get praning.  i don’t know how i’m gonna study for civpro and the other subjects.  to think di ko pa man din masyado inaaral yung iba (lalo na yung project development!).  but kahit na harrassing, i enjoy being a law student.  in general, masaya na ako ngayon sa law school.

2.  as lsg president – ito, carry naman.  breather nga eh.  a responsibility i enjoy.

3.  as block president – gusto ko nang bitiwan pero ayaw pumayag ng blockmates ko.  😦  anyway, di naman masyadong matrabaho nor draining.  mahirap lang ang scheduling ng exams and joint class/exam sessions.

4.  as an employee – nuff said

i hate my job!  (ironically, even though i seem to have a natural flair for it, i don’t like sales! (i don’t like being the customer’s slave!) )  the job is such a chore for me!  oo, flexi-time pa rin.  but they want me to handle an account na.  tapos yung account, nasa antipolo pa! and available lang yung owner makipag-usap every 2pm.  ang launch target namin, 2nd week of april…and finals week is coming up!  i spoke to the managing director to bargain sana for a different responsibility pero ayaw alisin sa akin ito.  ilang beses na akong nag-plead na kung pwede sales support lang ako due to my situation as a law student, but no…parang my pleas fall on deaf ears.  at ngayon, after having resigned and retracted such resignation, wala na akong bargaining position so to speak.  lost all leverage to negotiate.

medyo gone sour din ang relationships ko with people at work.  halatang-halata ko ang disappointment nila sa akin at hindi ko ito ma-take.  hindi ko sila masisisi.  marami akong limitations sa schedule.  sometimes, may petty error ang sina-submit kong work dahil sa pagmamadali.  (though isip ko, kung magaling lang ang pinag-s-submit-an ko ng excel files, kadali namang i-correct ng slight error na yon!)  and medyo mainit ulo ko if they bring me in sa mga meetings na wala naman pala talaga akong papel (aksaya sa oras!  when i could be studying sana)  tsaka kapag dapat akong mag-aral kaya nananahimik lang ako para magbasa tapos tinatanong ako nang kung anu-ano na di naman ganun ka-relevant sa work, medyo irritated ako.  di ko na rin ako marunong mag-handle ng objections especially when i think i have a better idea (i know, this is bad).  and i’m so transparent that it shows.  actually, itong people aspect ng job ang di ko na ma-take.  feeling ko, i’ve done so many things wrong.  di na na-r-redeem ng charms ko ang pagka-dismaya nila sa akin.  at wala na rin akong ganang gawin yon.

at may nakapagsabi sa kin na tinitignan nila ang blog ko ha, for any entries which may be demotivating to co-workers…how mean, sobrang bad faith naman yon of them.  kaya lalong ayaw ko na dun.  unfortunately, i earn a substantial amount from that job.  enough for me to pay for my grandma’s caregiver and tend for my own needs.  kaya ayaw ng mom ko na mag-resign ako dun.  pero di ko na ma-take eh.  so ngayon, maghahahanap na ako ng alternatives.

5.  as an RA of danicon – maliit lang ang kita dito.  medyo may backlog ako sa work.  ito ang isa sa mga alternatives na sinasabi ko.

6.  as the first-born in our family – nag-resign ang caregiver ng lola ko.  yung kapalit said she can’t handle the job naman.  ngayon, kelangan na naman problemahin ito.  binato ko na kay mommy.  ayoko i-handle.  utusan na lang nya ako.  pero sana maisip nya na malapit na ang finals week namin.

7.  as a church choir member – di na ako nakaka-attend ng church choir

8.  as a girlfriend – di naman demanding si mike.  ok ang takbo ng relationship namin.  so this is a responsibility i enjoy.

9.  as a portian – buti pahinga ngayon.  🙂  tsaka hindi na ako officer, that’s a relief.  thank God, i know alam ng sisses na i’m swamped.  besides, ang daming sisses na magagagaling at mas dapat mabigyan ng chance na mag-serve sa sorority as part of the EB.

haaaay naku.  ayoko na.  pa’no ba ‘to.  but i can’t give up, can i?   haaaay, please pray for me.  i so need moral support (financial support is welcome too)

(IMPORTANT!  reminder sa sarili:  i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…i just have to do my part and He’ll do His…everything happens for a reason; God works for the good of those who love Him and who work according to His purpose; He only has plans to prosper me, to give me a hope and a future.  He gives wisdom to all without finding fault)

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9 thoughts on “drowning in a sea of responsibilities”

  1. lobit,

    grabe, ang dami mong sinasabay-sabay. but i know you have that kind of truckload of responsibilities because you’re super-efficient and super-capable… you can handle anything 🙂 good luck on your finals 🙂

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  2. Lobit,

    Wow,you sure are swamped. ‘Wag mo masyado pagurin ang sarili mo, ok? Take things one step at a time. Baby kita, and I know your capabilities. You were given those responsibilities for a reason, and also because people trust you. Kaya mo ‘yan. If you cannot do it anymore, then drop it. Take care of yourself first before anything else. 🙂

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  3. On the panganay part, relate ako jan. I’m also feeling the brunt of that dito sa bahay. Don’t let it get to you. Stay strong, and saying “no” doesn’t mean hating family. It means telling them to give you a break. 😉

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    1. salamat aleth! kelan ka balik ng manila? btw, i might go to mindanao this summer. magsisilbing ahente sa pagbebenta ng mga lupa nina mommygran. kelangan na namin magbenta ng mga properties eh. huhuhu. 😦

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      1. It’s a far shot, pero I’ll ask around if anybody’s interested in purchasing land. Don’t worry, God will always make a way. **hugs** When i get a job sa Manila, balik ako jan kaagad. 🙂

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