whether you had a third party break-up, one wherein your partner sadly fell out of love before you did, or one wherein you just weren’t meant to be (e.g. you didn’t fit in each other’s future plans, other irreconcileable differences)…
to all those who had to undergo the ordeal of breaking up with people who didn’t deserve them, this and my previous post are actually tributes to you. being one with you, i understand the pain & agony of making yourself unnaturally vulnerable to the wrong person. unfortunately, we’re just human – we make mistakes (including falling in love w/ the wrong ones). unless we actually undergo those experiences, we’ll never really learn or understand the caveats given by those who have come before us.
the important thing is to rise from the pits and have wholistic healing at that. in order to do that, one has:
1. to be authentic – to acknowledge how hurt he/she is…
2. …yet decisive – to make that choice to snap out of misery and be happy. yes, happiness is a choice. moving on is likewise a choice.
3. hold on to & even improve your self-esteem – love yourself, pamper yourself with make-overs – physically, emotionally, spiritually. you are better off without that ex of yours! believe it and live it! 🙂
in line with holding on to one’s self-esteem, i discourage rebound relationships. sure, been there done that. but always, because you were never really ready to enter such in the first place, it almost always never works out, and you end up more hurt, feeling more lost than before. as for flings, if you’re the type who can’t put breaks in a relationship, i also discourage this. flings tend to develop into relationships – they’re the most needful ones for those who just got out of bad break ups.
4. lastly, no matter how miserable one may be feeling, it is important not to lose sight of hope. there is a happy future in store for everyone (well, almost…and yes, even your ex deserves to have a happy future – no matter how horrible he may have been to you) . a happy future is THE end in mind in the recovery process. (yes, the habit of beginning with the end in mind, the first of the 7 habits of highly effective people also applies to break-ups. haha)
i don’t know if i could call myself an authority when it comes to break-up’s. i’ve had three break-ups in the past – the first one of which made me feel as if it were the end of my world and the latter two of which could be classified as bad ones simply because they were attributable to “bad” causes. looking back, i know i really had to undergo each and every relationship, because they made me ready to be with the man that i’m with today (and will be with for the rest of my life). before i met this man, however, i was already happy and healed – even though i was alone (after all, alone isn’t synonymous with lonely)
so if you’re still struggling with such heartbreak, i hope this post somehow helps you. cheers to you as well, for in time, you too will leave the phase called recovery and join the ranks of the recovered.
for those who have already recovered, congratulations!
to all of us, break-up survivors, here’s a big, loud cheers! 🙂
hmmm…i-post ko nga ito sa friendster blogs ko so it could reach more people who probably just might need to read such a thing. 🙂