I was chatting with someone who was making kwento to me about my boyfriend’s past relationships. About how he thought of marriage din before. But he fell out of love. Admittedly, doubts entered my mind, and just like all those times when doubts entered my mind, I discussed the matter with Mike.
Mike assured me that it’s different this time. Kung gusto ko raw ng comparison, sige, he’ll compare. Dati, naiisip at napapag-usapan lang, wala namang output. Ngayon he proposed to me and we’re actually making plans and progress with the preparations. (Speaking of preps, in fairness, since last month, we’ve been saving P6K a month – till december 2008 dapat. Last weekend, we were planning the theme, the motif, venue, date…naghati rin kami ng responsibilities. Like akin ang music and paperwork, sa kanya venue, catering, flowers, photo/video). Last night, he emailed me his guest list. This morning I sent him naman mine. We pray din for our relationship, our engagement and our wedding preparations) Bakit daw ako nagpapa-apekto sa sabi-sabi ng iba when we’re making a lot of progress, wag ko naman daw sya i-down, para kong sinabi na he didn’t mature a bit in the past 5 years. Ginagawa ko raw parang kahapon lang yung matagal nang nangyari. (In fairness with Mike, he’s had some major turning points this past year nga lang.) He’s sure daw about this, he’s with me 100%, he asked if ako raw ba, I was with him 100%, as well…dahil baka ako raw ang mang-iwan sa ere.
I realized my own folly, and told him that I was with him 100%. I said sorry to him for doubting based on events of the distant past and told him. He said, wag daw ako sa kanya mag-sorry kungdi kay God din. I’m doubting daw kasi. Sabi nya, wag naman daw ako mag-doubt coz it’s like I’m doubting what we’re praying for as well.
I thought further about what he said. Tapos, I decided to go to the online ODB. The devotional entry for the day was so apt. Reading & meditating on it, I realized that Mike was right…at the heart of it all, I wasn’t just doubting him, my faith wavered as well – my faith in my God who makes all things new (and beautiful in His time). Several times, in our relationship alone, God has demonstrated His power to make things new:
1. When Mike & I began our relationship, it was a fresh start – detached from his and my previous ones. We did not bring excess baggage from our past entanglements.**
2. When we were in our 6th month in the relationship, we had a major commitment issue, which was later on resolved when he assured me that he was in this for the long haul. (Kasi I was thinking before, kung lokohan lang pala, eh di split na). In fairness, after that, the relationship moved forward.
3. A couple of weeks back when we almost broke up and decided to cancel our engagement, we agreed on starting anew. Since then, preparations have progressed.
Starting anew whenever Mike & I have (had) issues, it twas never easy. However, it has always been made possible through prayer and clinging to the idea that it was God who put us together (**Before we met, i was really praying for someone na, his friend Daph said na ganun din daw si mike kaya she was really happy for him when he met me). Mike and I can’t just operate like machines and make the scathes we get from our issues disappear. We’re just human, and knowing me, if I were to rely on my own efforts, I would raise the issue again. It always has to take a Higher Power to restore our relationship.
And I just thank God because He is a God who heals not just physical pain, but also emotional pain. He always makes things new. He has done so numerous times already not just in my relationship with Mike, but also in my relationship with Him, with my mom, some friends, and with myself. I trust in my God the Healer and Restorer to restore Mike & me back to the path that we were treading (before doubts entered the scene)
He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” —Revelation 21:5
I was enjoying my son’s high school soccer game when the relative calm and normalcy of that warm September afternoon was shattered by a sound both distinctive and alarming—the sound of sirens. The shrill whine seemed out of place at such a pleasant moment, and it demanded my attention. According to singer Don Henley, a siren usually means that “somebody’s going to emergency” or “somebody’s going to jail.” He’s right. In either case, someone’s day, perhaps including the law enforcement or rescue personnel, just took a turn for the worse.
As I lost my attention on the game and thought about the siren fading into the distance, it occurred to me that sirens are a reminder of a powerful reality: Our world is sadly broken. Whether the siren tells us of criminal activity or personal tragedy, it reminds us that something is desperately wrong and needs to be made right.
At such times, it helps to remember that God sees our world in its brokenness and has pledged that one day He will wipe away the old and “make all things new” (Rev. 21:5). That promise encourages us in the hardships of life, and it provides the whisper of His comfort—a whisper that can drown out even the sound of sirens.
He is coming! “Star of Morning,”
All the faithful caught away,
When the trumpet, in a moment,
Ushers in the glad new day. —Dimmock
God’s whisper of comfort quiets the noise of our trials.