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Counting my blessings: a paradigm shift

for the past few weeks, i’ve constantly bewailed about woes of my "wrong" decisions in the recent years.  after attending last night’s UP JPIA alumni homecoming, i realized something.  even if it weren’t for the title i’d soon be getting or for the academic learnings garnered in the past few years, i still needed to go to law school.  my five-year stint in UP law did not only serve as an "exile" from the corporate (and income-earning) world, but also became my time of redemption.  

in college, i realized, i only had a few truly solid friendships which i was able to maintain (some of which are even splintered at the moment) and to some, a reputation marred by politicking or probably they simply just didn’t like and couldn’t understand me and my ways.  (but i wouldn’t want to blame anyone because to do so would be tantamount to bad faith).  although the first few years were generally good, eventually because of my unhappy final year, which i’m still in the process of healing from after 8 long years, i felt like a failure.  that feeling arose from my failure to successfully conciliate differences.  i didn’t do my best academically either because i had multiple priorities – which by God’s grace i was able to pull off.  in undergrad, although many times i was lost (nangangapa so to speak), i tried to find my way to get out.   it was a phase of trying to find out who i was and how and where i’d fit in. 

in law school, i felt like my miseries and mistakes in college were redeemed.  the turmoil and confusion i experienced in my last year were offset by two busy and tiring yet nonetheless wonderful years in the student council.  the hatred, controversies and misunderstandings i was in the center of in my final year were offset by the love and sisterhood in my beloved sorority, with the endearing superslackers and my two cherished blocks.  there, i truly felt a sense of family and camaraderie.  despite times of disagreement and conflicts, in the end the virtue of good faith would always prevail.  people were definitely outspoken, the politics in the college could tend to be far worse; but generally, everyone respected each other, and knew that at the end of the day, in spite of differences of opinion and manner of doing things, friendships would always prevail.  thanks to these experiences and ties, my undergrad woes and law school academic boo-boo’s were very much offset. 

success is after all relative.  one’s definition may be different from the others.  as for me, maybe i wasn’t able to reach the top 20 or 30 mark and wasn’t a success academically speaking.  however, the lessons learned in this five-year exile, the fulfillment experienced after overcoming every obstacle, the treasured friendships – those are things that define genuine success. 

every time i lash at myself for my wrong approach in studying the law (which i have been trying to "undo" these past months) and the corresponding mediocre results, i shall remind myself of these far more priceless treasures. 

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