Sharing tonight’s bedtime conversation with God:
Me: Lord, I have received prophetic words, You have given Mike and me dreams, and best of all assured us through Scripture of Your promise of children, and that our prayers are yes and amen in Jesus. Because of that, we believed accordingly, You led us to take that step and pursue the treatments. All provision comes from You…we had means for the treatment, good doctors, even time to spare. All throughout, You were carrying us through. I was pretty much holding on, in faith that You will give us a child until the past few days. Then yesterday, my mom prays for the desires of our hearts, yet tells me that we must not be so focused on this, as Your plans may be different…that one can be a mother even if not a biological mom, or maybe You have different plans for us. It got me really confused, Lord, because her words implied a different message. You have spoken through my mom lots of times before. Are you speaking through her now or not, even though she said that she is just praying, as You are leading her? What should I actually pray for? What should I believe for? What should I be focused on? I know it cannot conflict because You are the same, Lord. Isn’t it that the same Holy Spirit who speaks to me, and through those who prayed for us, speaks to my mom.
Still small voice: Do not be focused on the outcome. Focus on Me.
WOW. Boom…and with that, nuff said. Okay, Lord…thank You for helping me fix my eyes on You, just when my gaze was already averting elsewhere. Thank You for reminding me to seek the Giver, not the gift.
Then, as I was typing this blog entry, I was reminded of the verse: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God. Trust in Me. And so I googled it, and checked out John 14 in Youversion. These verses just struck me:
DO NOT let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God; believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me.
Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me; or else believe Me for the sake of the [very] works themselves. [If you cannot trust Me, at least let these works that I do in My Father’s name convince you.] I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone steadfastly believes in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father. And I will do [I Myself will grant] whatever you ask in My Name [as presenting all that I AM], so that the Father may be glorified and extolled in (through) the Son. [Exod. 3:14.] [Yes] I will grant [I Myself will do for you] whatever you shall ask in My Name [as presenting all that I AM]. – John 14:1, 11-14 AMP
At eto pa:
But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you. Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.] – John 14:26-27 AMP
Thank You, Lord, for speaking to me through Your Holy Spirit, my Comforter. Thank You for bringing these words to remembrance. Thank You for Your peace, Lord Jesus. I will no longer allow myself to be agitated and disturbed. Lord, I ask for a good night’s rest please (even if 3hours lang). Please wake me up tomorrow in time for the Ravi Zacharias talk. Thank You, Jesus. I love You.