The other day, our yaya, Tita Gemma (who took care of me for 5 years when I was a child, and whose paths crossed mine again 24 years after…long story) returned from her annual month-long vacation in her hometown in Siargao. She recounted how during her vacation, her brother died leaving behind 8 children, the youngest of whom is a 10 month-old boy. Her mother was trying to prevent her from returning to us, asking her to help take care of the children. Upon hearing the story, I jokingly and initially thoughtlessly blurted out, “what if we adopt the child?”. After a while, the verse Eph 6:4 entered my mind. I continued to pray about it, and let the thought fester in my mind. Today, upon viewing pictures of the child, the thought that we could give this child a good future and rear him to be a a Godly person struck me. I learned about the child’s name and temperament as well as how his older siblings are smart kids. I thought of his environment, and what he could grow up to be if he remained there vs who he could become if we he grew up with us.
Before hearing about the plight of the child, I wasn’t really intent on adopting (more like work issues are consuming much of me at the moment)…I used to view it as a last recourse – after we have exhausted all efforts to have a biological child, but are not blessed with one. Hence, I wasn’t really expecting this development now when we have just ended our series of lymphocyte immuno therapy treatments and have a goal to conceive in 6 months (so we won’t need another expensive (and painful) LIT “booster shot”). For me, if we end up adopting this kid, it doesn’t run counter to what we continue to believe in: that God would bless us with one (or more) biological children. Besides, I have heard of stories where women, after adopting a child, conceive a biological child with more ease.
The reality of this situation is just that, (1) there is a child in need, whom we could raise, love and provide for, and (2) here we are, pining for a child, and able to give love and a good future. It is clear to me that I want a child because I have always dreamed of rearing and raising one to impart the values, learnings and legacies that my parents have in turn imparted to me. While it’s true that we are not logistically prepared to undergo adoption proceedings at the moment, I believe that by God’s grace, we can begin preparing for that, after we eventually decide to go for it.
Ultimately, I just seek God’s will as regards this matter. It’s not my lone decision, after all. Mike still has to buy into it. Right now, he says he want us to first try to conceive spontaneously for the next few months, if unsuccessful try IUI, and only therafter consider adoption – per our original plan. I’m thinking though that if we wait for that time, we might lose the opportunity to adopt this child, and even if we don’t, we would have lost time (like a year) in spending time with this child and seeing the exciting firsts in his 2nd year of development. Knowing Mike, it usually takes him time to come around and adapt to changes in mindset…that’s his steady nature rising up, which I appreciate considering that admittedly, I tend to be more flighty. He may be seeing some things which I am failing to see.
Prayers needed and wanted. This is one of the biggest decisions that we may have to make in our adult lives so I also don’t want to rush into it. Practically speaking, the lawyer in me knows that we also need to consider costs and intricacies involved with adoption proceedings and even inheritance issues. I believe it is essential to seek and discern God’s will as regards this matter, lest I end up having an Ishmael while I wait for my Isaac.
What do you think?
Quoting the following paragraph from the article below:
Frankly, I can think of no more “Christian” act that Christian married couples could perform than to adopt a child who is in desperate need of a mother and a father, and who will raise that child, or children, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4 ). After all, aren’t all of us as Christians God-adopted? When we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, God declared us His children. As a result of our Heavenly Father having adopted us, we have a loving, forgiving, perfect, divine Father as illustrated by Jesus in the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15).
Side Note: Tonight, we’ll visit the hospital again for a tissue cross-matching exam, which determines if the LIT has successfully eliminated the alloimmune disorder that I have been diagnosed with. Praying for good results! 😉