Hoping Against Hope

My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years. After a series of tests, we were diagnosed with alloimmune blood disorder, a condition which makes a woman allergic to sperm or fertilized eggs. After a few months of indecision, we underwent an expensive months-long treatment called lymphocyte immunotherapy. In a subsequent tissue cross-match exam, results showed that the alloimmune condition was still present. Though my heart sank, I took my disappointment to the Lord in prayer. As I prayed, God impressed that He is the ultimate Lifegiver and He can overrule any medical condition. A few months later, just when moved to a new employer, and as I was learning to enjoy the wait, we discovered that we were pregnant for the first time through a positive pregnancy test result (actually, we took 7 tests just to confirm).

On our 7th week, we saw an OB (1st OB), who congratulated us for the sac attached to my uterus. She could not give any conclusive prognosis though, as the sac looked 4wks old but there was no yolk sac, no fetus, no heartbeat. We were given medications and were advised to see her again in two weeks.

1.5wks later, I stopped feeling pregnancy symptoms so we sought a 2nd opinion, this time from a Christian OB (2nd OB). The 2nd scan showed a rounder sac at 4wks 2 days, still with no yolk sac, fetus and heartbeat. She said that the alloimmune cells probably stopped the growth and  recommended that we stop the meds that the first OB gave so nature can take its course. Looking at the printed ultrasound results, I asked, “So, is this it?”. The 2nd OB probably felt convicted and reversed her first advice, telling us to continue the meds, and that ultimately it is by faith and that God can make the impossible possible. My husband (who was more composed than I) and I (in tears) decided to carry on and continue trusting God.

The following day, I was led to meditate on the verses in Ezekiel, where God prompted him to prophesy life to the dry bones. I felt that perhaps God was leading me to do the same too. And so I modelled my prayer after Ezekiel’s, prophesying and declaring God’s breath of life over the sac. I began to have pregnancy symptoms again, and my tummy seemed to grow again. We intensified our intercession, as we thanked God for giving life and calling to existence things that do not exist as though they were (Rom 4:17).  As I prayed with a Pastor friend this week, I also learned to address the baby in my womb more personally…speaking and referring to her, not as a mere sac, but as a baby (I feel that she is a girl, and if she is a girl indeed, we’re naming her Qarah Elliana B. Serrano.  Qarah means Divine appointments, and Elliana means God has answered our prayers)…and so I take time to talk and sing to Baby Q every once in a while, even apologizing to her during stressful moments, asking her to bear with Mommy, and to continue fighting because she is a champion, she is an answered prayer and God is with her.

Tomorrow, we return to our 1st OB, as it has been two weeks since our 1st visit to her. By faith, we expect to see a baby with a heartbeat. Whenever anxious thoughts come to mind, I apply 2 Cor 10:5, taking those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. We continue to hope in Him, as we pray that we’re just among those “misdiagnosed blighted ovums” that eventually turn out to be successful full-term pregnancies, claiming God’s promise that He is faithful to complete the good work He began in us. May our experience align with God’s word, as His supernatural invades the natural.  Whatever tomorrow brings,  truth remains that this baby is already a miracle baby. We remain thankful for the privilege of conceiving! Nothing will stop us from praising God and giving a testimony of His greatness and goodness, and how He has allowed us to taste and see the same in our lives!

Tearfully, even as I type now, I am surrendering tomorrow’s outcome to the Lord.  He has never failed me before, and He shall see me (us) through.  It will be all good, as He works all things for the good of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose…that I know. My husband and I, as well as our miracle Baby Q, are in His capable hands. I am thankful, too, for friends and family who ask how I’m doing and who continue to intercede for us.

Whatever happens, someday, I know that God will use our testimony to encourage another similarly situated couple – just like this site, which I stumbled upon tonight, and through which the Lord gave me a fresh dose of encouragement: http://hopefulmomlm.hubpages.com/hub/blightedovumhope .


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