dream home, faith, marriage, Preparing for Motherhood, Waging War

Counterstrike

I am so excited to share a rhema word from the Lord about a strategy for battle in the midst of a wilderness season. This revelation was birthed out of the following 5-week roller coaster ride:

1. A week after joining my new employer, we were elated to receive the miracle of a positive pregnancy test result despite negative tissue cross-match results, followed by another good news of the presence of a gestational sac in my womb. Then for 2 suspense-filled weeks, we prayerfully awaited a heartbeat. On my first month anniversary at work, I started to bleed. On the same night, with immense physical pain and sadness, I experienced the miscarriage of our first and much awaited pregnancy in 7 years of marriage; and

2. We delighted in discovering a house suitable for us, as there seemed to be confirmation upon confirmation that it was for us. We excitedly paid the reservation fee, in good faith; however, recent developments (seller changing the payment terms, and us backing out of the transaction) just this week make us stand to lose the sizeable fee that we paid:

Thankfully, for some reason, there was a supernatural mantle of peace and joy that ushered us into this season. However, the mantle seemed to wane when I forced myself to report to work to beat a deadline. I started to ask God why He didn’t do what I begged Him to do; instead, one misfortunate heartache seemed to follow after another – a double whammy.

Upon advice of my OB, I decided to take advantage of a maternity leave to recover and rest, instead of forcing myself to work with mere half-baked recovery. Though the law allows a two-month leave, I’m just resting for two weeks, in consideration of my new employer. (Thankfully, my boss and HR are understanding). I used (am using) these two weeks to recover physically, emotionally and most importantly spiritually, and to just rest in the Lord,

In this two-week period, I initially found it a bit difficult to pray. I found myself confused, my heart burdened with unbelief due to seeming unanswered prayer. I realized that my faith was shaken. But God’s goodness prevailed. When I visited my OB, I was greeted with results that I expelled all pregnancy matter, there was no need for D&C procedure and since there appears to be no trauma to my uterus, we can conceive as soon as we’re ready.

In the days that followed, amidst the dismal developments of our housing situation, I continued to press on further in the Lord to battle loneliness and self-pity. I felt the Lord probe and cleanse my heart as I spent time with Him. Was I beginning to love the promise of God more than the God of the promise? As I reflected on that question and repented for being distracted, I felt the Lord shift my gaze towards Him anew. As I felt my faith failing, God revealed that there was a need to dig a deeper well of faith, for Jesus to fill with more of His living water.

I realized that I should not drop my faith and in so doing harden my heart with unbelief just because God did not give me “my heart’s desire”. What is my heart’s desire, anyway? Isn’t it Him? Ergo, with or without these things, I am complete because He is my heart’s desire. With or without these things, God remains sovereign, unchangable, unshakable, untamable, ever-faithful. His love for me has not waned. While He is enthroned in my heart, I cannot, however, dictate upon Him nor put Him in a cage. I can, but, agree with Him and His ways, whether or not I fully understand (for eventually, He does reveal, as needed…His words are indeed the lamp unto my path). I can enjoy dancing under the rain, with Him taking the lead. And with those realizations, I felt the Lord lead me to a new level of surrender.

With the new level of surrender came a new revelation of strategy.

Yesterday, I was chatting with a friend and shared a recent dream, that I felt described what we had recently gone through. She, in turn, shared what God impressed to her about it.

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As I prayed after chatting with her, one of the questions I asked God was “so how shall this counter-attack look like?”

I was led to meditate on Psalm 91 and today, Psalm 18. Verses 1-3 of Psalm 18 struck me as a strategy on how we can be saved and delivered from our enemies [These enemies are those too strong for us, who hate us, confront us in the day of our calamity (Ps 18:17-18)

He delivered me from my strong enemy,
From those who hated me,
For they were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my support.

And those are but typical characteristics of enemies, who are not of flesh and blood, especially since our battles / struggles are not against flesh and blood, but against dark powers of this world. (Eph 6:12) I believe that almost every dilemma or challenge in the natural has a spiritual dimension that we also need to consider.]:

Before I write the three-pronged (or four-pronged) strategy, here are the verses:

I will love You, O Lord , my strength.
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I will call upon the Lord , who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies. – Psalm 18:1-3 (NKJV)

I realized that Lord saving us from our enemies is a natural consequence of the following things that we ought to do (as David did) in our wilderness experience:

1. Love the Lord (Ps 18:1). Ps. 91:14 (AMP) says that He delivers us because we have set our love upon Him.

Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness–trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].

In the midst of a wilderness season, do not allow your love for the Lord to wane. Set your love, your passion, upon Him. Return to your First Love. Delight yourself in Him, who first loved you.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. – Psalm 37:4 AMP

2. Trust in and acknowledge the Lord.

Trust and faith go hand in hand. God empowers us to stir deeper wells of faith as we trust in Him. What are you trusting the Lord for?

Acknowledge God as our Rock, Fortress, Deliverer, Horn of Salvation, Shield and Stronghold (Ps.18:2). Acknowledge His presence, as well as His character and nature, in the midst of our situation and in all our ways. In so doing lift up His name…yes, lift Him up, above the changing facts, for He alone is unchanging.

3. Call upon Him with praise(for He is worthy. Worship indicates that we know His name, His character, as in Ps 91:4 (Ps 18:2)

And so shall we be saved from our enemies. (Ps 18:3). He sets us up on high (Ps 91:14), enabling us to overtake the enemy, lifting us above them, even (Ps 18:48),

He delivers me from my enemies.
You also lift me up above those who rise against me;
You have delivered me from the violent man.

Not only that…the Lord will lead us to broad places, as He enlarges our path so our feet will not slip. (Ps 18:19 and 36)

He also brought me out into a broad place;
He delivered me because He delighted in me.

You enlarged my path under me, So my feet did not slip.

…such that we’ll even have double for our trouble (I read this earlier in FB)

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In wilderness situations, we ought not to struggle, but instead learn how to increasingly love God, trust and acknowledge Him, and call upon Him in praise. This strategy may be quite basic, but in the difficult times, we tend to forget, and hence must be reminded.

Applying such strategy, in my own wilderness situation, I am now beginning to see my situation shift. With eyes fixed on the Lord, He is enabling me to see how He is moving…and I know that this is just the beginning. As I told my friend yesterday:

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(Sidenote: I still do not know what exactly those strings represent…they may be self-sufficiency stemming from pride, doubt, idols in the heart; and perhaps the way to cut those strings is through the above strategy.

As for the “pagkukulang sa diskarte”, I admit to that, as well. What an unforgettable lesson to lean not on my own understanding…to acknowledge the Lord and His ways, to benefit from His direction of our paths.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and depart from evil.
It will be health to your flesh,
And strength to your bones.
Honor the Lord with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord ,
Nor detest His correction;
For whom the Lord loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights. – Proverbs 3:5-12 NKJV

With all my heart, I shall trust You more henceforth, Lord. Thank You, Abba, for teaching and correcting me. Next time, we shall be more shrewd, not taking for granted reliance on You, every step of the way)

The enemy may have meant to inflict a double whammy, but I trust…I know that the Lord will give us double (whatever You want, Lord, I shall not limit You.) for our trouble. Regardless, we have peace knowing that God is sovereign and that we are but stewards of everything He is giving. Even that reservation fee is His, just as I heard a whisper from the Lord (while praying on the day that the miscarriage was to take place) that the baby is with Him. When He gives us a child (or children), as well as a house, we remain mere stewards.

His restoration is coming. Some may call it “karma”; I call it: Counterstrike.

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