Yesterday, we attended a worship gathering called Big Tent (No walls, no boundaries, just Jesus). Good thing my MCLE (Mandatory Continuing Legal Education) seminar was just in the same building. It was such a wonderful time of worship…I really felt God’s presence and pleasure, such that I still have a hangover actually (the good kind!). I believe that gathering of Believers in Yeshua, irrespective of religious denomination, brought a smile to God’s heart. 🙂
I felt chains, specifically the chain of discouragement, broken, even as we worshipped. Yesterday morning, I really felt such shackles, and all throughout the day (even through MCLE, just as I was blogging my heart out – yes, lawyers tend to be techy multi-taskers during MCLE. Everyone in the room was either on their laptops or smartphones. Haha), my spirit was just crying out to the Lord for fresh hope. It looked like I wasn’t the only one who needed it, as there were testimonies shared on this yesterday.
During the altar call, I confessed to the Lord, how I needed more of His love to heal my discouragement – over the housing situation, over some situations at work/career, and mostly about the delay in becoming a mom, in the natural. [As my cousin, Hazel, says (and thank God for this Godly BFF cousin of mine!) I’m already a mum (she’s Aussie) in the spiritual.] I just cried and cried to Him and asked for more of His love, and for fresh hope and encouragement, straight from the Lord, Himself…I felt tears cleanse and soften my heart of unadmitted hardness of deferred hope.
In the coffee socials, I asked Pastor James for prayers. He shared with me a vision for home churches (and I will be praying for that)…I disclosed for the second time that the same is also in my heart…(I have only disclosed that to one other person, an XPMedia “churchmate”, thus far:
I have been afraid to disclose that to anyone, I realize for fear of being mocked or questioned…Sino ba naman ako, right? But I believe God has been making me hungry for more of Him, and feeding and teaching me for a reason. I feel though, that this is something which needs to be birthed in prayer talaga)
This is actually the main reason why I am drawn to the house – for I see the third floor as an Upper Room of worship, prayer and fellowship. I feel like it is also why the enemy has been trying to stall, discourage and even prevent its acquisition.
And so Pastor James prayed for the housing transaction. Right after, he prayed as well for a child for Mike and me. He said he feels like this child will be a boy, with a kingly anointing like King Josiah (the boy king in Chronicles)…And perhaps that is the reason why the enemy has been wanting to delay his birth, as well. But in Jesus’ name, no more delays.
The prayer gave me goosebumps…It made me recall of how I used to want to be President of the Philippines in younger days. At 20, I sensed that call to leadership in a VCF worship service, as I was about to run for JPIA president. That call was a fuel for that difficult term in JPIA, law school, LSG, Liberal Party) thanks to seeds (faith, patriotism, integrity, righteous leadership) that my parents sowed in me. Somewhere along the way though, I felt my track being rerouted to the marketplace (yet government service is still in my heart for a reason). One time while I was praying in the banyo some years ago, I said perhaps hindi naman pala ako yung magiging Presidente ng Pilipinas…perhaps it’ll be my kid.
I know (just based on how my sister and I have treated my mom in some tough moments) that being a Mom will not be easy, but by God’s grace, I’m up for the challenge. I have just watched this video that affirms that:
The video made me cry and remember also all the tough times my sister and I have given our mom – moments that I’m truly sorry for. I thank my Mom for lovingly tenaciously putting up with us and for being such a prayer warrior. God has indeed used her to sow seeds of His Kingdom in our hearts. I appreciate how she went to battle for me, and God has given her the victory. The good work that God has allowed her to do in my life is the reason why I pray and aspire to be a Mom, like her…that and to raise a little Josiah.
As I pondered on Pastor James prayer yesterday, I looked up “Josiah anointing” on Google, and found this:
And so Lord, I come before You, Abba Father, in Jesus’s name, boldly to Your throne of grace. Forever Jesus, You are glorified, lifted high, alive. I lift up Your name and Your ways over these matters – the home and home church, as well as a little Josiah who will be a part of that. Abba, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven. May these help prepare the way for You, and Your coming again. My household and I are Your witnesses. In Jesus’ name.
And so, just as the OB instructed last Saturday, I’ll take a test next week. 🙂
Till then, Lord, fill me with Your wonder.