career

Surrendered

What a weird day that should definitely be documented.

Today, on my 4th day back in my first, and Godwilling last, employer, was the 1st Employee Quarter Meeting in the new office building. Naturally, all employees were present. I was welcomed to the company as one of its new hires, a Band 2 Finance & Accounting Tax Manager. Next to the new hire welcome, an announcement on new promotions followed. Included in those promoted to Band 4, 2 levels above me, were 2 batchmates of mine when we were starting out as young sales managers fresh out of college in 2001-2002. A few hours later, a veteran Finance manager recognized me as a former Customer Business Development manager, remarking that my batchmates are now Band 4s, (whereas I was starting out anew), but di bale raw, I had an “Atty” tucked under my belt.

What actually startled me was my reaction: how I was genuinely happy for my batchmates, without even a tinge of jealousy. I know their promotions are well-deserved. Neither did I feel sad or sorry for myself that my life choices put me where I am now. I could only marvel at God’s grace and favor because I know that He has been holding my heart through it all. I praise Him because I know He has prepared me for those moments. I couldn’t feel more joyful and peaceful. 🙂

Then as if the day was not, by itself, eventful, an old colleague made beso to me playfully remarking that I did not age at all then asking if “nakita ko na ba siya?”. Perplexed, I asked who “siya” was. Turns out, “siya” was another colleague who, asked me out 13 years ago and attempted to court me. I casually asked, “oh, he’s still here pala?”. Good thing I haven’t seen the guy yet (not that it matters – it doesn’t).

Less than an hour later, right after lunch, another old flame walked up to me for a brief chit-chat. This guy is now the general sales manager of one of the Company’s distributors, and turns out he was there for the Sales Quarter Meeting which was held in the New office for this quarter. Keeping the chit-chat civil and professional yet light and friendly (i.e. breezy), I disclosed that I’m back in P&G as a tax lawyer, happily married with no kids yet. After asking about the guy’s daughter, and answering his question about how my mom’s doing, I excused myself to go to where my boss was. As I was “fleeing from temptation”, I couldn’t help but thank God that I was married to a good, Godly and good-looking man. 🙂

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Then tonight, in my devotional time, I was able to read about Joseph and couldn’t help but find some parallelisms between his life and mine. He started out as a young man, favored, naive and ambitious. Then through twists of faith, he was sold to slavery, his integrity tested just as he was “rising from the ranks” in Potiphar’s household, brought to prison (an even lower low) where his patience and humility were once more tested. Yet the Lord gave him Divine connections, wisdom and favor from no less than the Pharoah through whom his promotion as governor and eventual reconciliation with his brothers (and promotion in their eyes) came.

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Reading about Joseph’s life made me reflect about my life and career journey. Honestly, I still don’t know where I’m headed, and there’s a part of me slightly afraid of not being able to deliver or perform well. Yet I surrender this fear to the Lord. He is with me, and He makes me brave. I just thank Him for the course correction of this prodigal, as well as for a good and kind boss – an answered prayer. I ask God for wisdom, divine connections and favor. Where He leads me, I will follow. What matters is that I am in the center of His will. His will be done on earth as it is in heaven, in my life and spheres of influence.

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My life may have turned out differently from how I planned it some 13 years ago, but I thank God because He has done a good work in me, in my heart most importantly, and I know that He’s not yet done with me. Whereever He may bring me, May He burn away the chaff in my life and heart with His all-consuming fire. Amen.

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