The other day, I made a mistake by sending out an email, after discussing with my boss, thinking that she was already on board with my thoughts. Turns out she wasn’t. Yesterday, first thing in the morning, I got a bit of a reprimand along the lines of alignment, being a team player and critical path schedules. Ironically, I thought all along that those were my strengths. I realized that I had been overconfident, with a bent on wanting to prove that I am sufficiently experienced and superior. Of course it backfired, and it hurt.
My boss was right somehow and I thank God because our talk jolted me cracked up the pride that was hardening my heart. As I pondered, I realized that I tended to see myself too highly. Hence, selfish ambition fueled by soulish desires. Also, inasmuch as I have a lot to learn, I also have a lot to unlearn.
This admission is not easy, but I thank God for opening my eyes to this. I thank Him because He was still gentle in humbling me. Now I feel tired of aspiring for promotion or acceleration in my career. I leave that to the Lord, all in His good time. With all my heart, I just want to learn how to worship God with my work in the truest sense. Inasmuch as I’m sorry, I thank Him for His grace which will empower me to have a humble heart before Him, a heart stayed on Him.