Just when we’re already settled with our fate and are in the process of completing adoption requirements, I experience this.
Just as the symptoms got my hopes high again, they were also a cause of concern because if I’m not pregnant, it could be something else.
And so, I underwent CBC (complete blood count) and urinalysis, which yielded the following results
Interpreting the results, our company doctor has ruled out UTI (urinary tract infection), as she says that the bacteria count may still be acceptable for a female. However, I need to undergo an ultrasound so gallstones or kidney stones can be ruled out. If I don’t have my period by Monday, I may already need to see my OB.
Still, I’m feeling lower back strain, and that feeling as if there’s something in my tummy. This actually all makes sense if I were pregnant. But I just tested this morning and…
Last night, I had this chat with a friend from Advocates (group of Christian law professionals and students), and she shared to me the testimony of 700 Club Host Camila Kim Galvez.
As I watched the testimony of Camila, who incidentally is my husband’s friend, I couldn’t help but shed a lot of tears because of the similar things we had to underwent…The years of waiting only to have a blighted ovum…only I hope and pray that if and when we get pregnant, I wouldn’t have to do bed rest for months….Lord, You know that my salary is needed for us to pay our amortizations and Mike’s project is ending this July. Ultimately, my take-away from their testimony, is the prayer: Lord, guard our hearts.
And so this morning, after receiving another negative result which may mean that I’m sick with something else, I am not allowing myself to ask any questions, and just ask the Lord to guard our hearts. Instead of asking questions or probing into my feelings, I choose to focus on this:
O Lord, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will praise Your name, for You have done wonderful things, even purposes planned of old [and fulfilled] in faithfulness and truth. For You have made a city a heap, a fortified city a ruin, a palace of aliens without a city [is no more a city]; it will never be rebuilt. Therefore [many] a strong people will glorify You, [many] a city of terrible and ruthless nations will [reverently] fear You. For You have been a stronghold for the poor, a stronghold for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm, a shade from the heat; for the blast of the ruthless ones is like a rainstorm against a wall. As the heat in a dry land [is reduced by the shadow of a cloud, so] You will bring down the noise of aliens [exultant over their enemies]; and as the heat is brought low by the shadow of a cloud, so the song of the ruthless ones is brought low. And on this Mount [Zion] shall the Lord of hosts make for all peoples a feast of rich things [symbolic of His coronation festival inaugurating the reign of the Lord on earth, in the wake of a background of gloom, judgment, and terror], a feast of wines on the lees–of fat things full of marrow, of wines on the lees well refined. And He will destroy on this mountain the covering of the face that is cast over the heads of all peoples [in mourning], and the veil [of profound wretchedness] that is woven and spread over all nations. He will swallow up death [in victory; He will abolish death forever]. And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces; and the reproach of His people He will take away from off all the earth; for the Lord has spoken it. It shall be said in that day, Behold our God upon Whom we have waited and hoped, that He might save us! This is the Lord, we have waited for Him; we will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.
– Isaiah 25:1-9 AMP
In the Lord, I just know that our waiting will NOT amount to nothing, for the Lord has promised in His word:
You shall serve the Lord your God; He shall bless your bread and water, and I will take sickness from your midst. None shall lose her young by miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.
Exodus 23:25-26 AMP
Because God reminded me of that word through Lance Wallnau’s periscope broadcast yesterday, I shall cling to it. it will all work out, just as He purposed, because He is sovereign. As for me, I choose to remember that He is good, and I thank Him for His goodness and grace.