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When You Just Don’t Get It

I just cried my heart out to the Lord.

UNTO YOU do I cry, O Lord my Rock, be not deaf and silent to me, lest, if You be silent to me, I become like those going down to the pit [the grave]. Hear the voice of my supplication as I cry to You for help, as I lift up my hands toward Your innermost sanctuary (the Holy of Holies).
– Psalm 28:1-2 AMP

In a nutshell, here’s a quick recap:

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All that, just when we were already preparing to file an application to adopt (hence this unexpected development). All that plus adjustments in my new job.

This is perhaps the most confusing, unsettling and exhausting time of my life thus far. It is even frustrating because I have to be in limbo for a bit more time.

Right now, I cannot understand a lot of things. I don’t know how to pray and what to pray for. I don’t know what to think. But one thing I know and hold on to: God is good and He loves me.

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The photo above reminds me of this song:

Night and day I seek Your face
Long for You in the secret place
All I want in this life
Is to truly know you more…

As the waters cover the sea,
So Your love covers me
Guiding me on, roads unknown
I trust in You alone (2x)

My Saving Grace, my endless love
Deeper and deeper I’m falling in love with You
My one desire, my only truth
Deeper and deeper I’m falling in love with you

And I will rise on wings of eagles
Soaring high above all my fears
I rest in Your open arms of love

As the waters cover the sea
So your love covers me…

Yes, Lord Jesus, even in this unsettling time, You are the One I hold on to. You are my only truth. Help me rest my spirit, soul and body in You, knowing that You affectionately care for me. Let me rest in Your love, by Your grace, I Lord. In this time, Lord, may You cause me to have a deeper revelation of You.

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Yes, o my soul and body, put your hope in God and rest in Him.

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