Just wanna share this update. Sorry, nobela. (As shared with prayer warriors, but with visual aids)
Mabait siya sa akin tonight, and it even feels like normal again, like the good old times. I could sense na he’s genuinely happy for me and my new job. Pinayagan ko sya makipaglaro ng video games with officemates tonight (di nga lang natuloy), even if I struggled with that kasi he wanted me to go home ahead of him even though we now work near each other (we ended up going home together naman). Medyo napraning ako when he said “mauna ka nang umuwi. Ok lang ako” kasi yun din yung sinabi nya dati eh…di pa pala talaga ako healed sa trust issues. Pero nakita naman nya na pinilit kong i-overcome in our conversation. Sabi ko, I just trust God that He sees him, and may palo for him if he’s not telling the truth.
We decided for a time-out too so we could take a breather…he says he’ll be the one to look for a place in Pasig and that he’ll be accountable to you, Pastor James. I told him that I have faith in God and I have faith in him that he’ll come back. He agrees that this is a big step din for me in overcoming my trust issues.
I repented before God and asked him for apologies for dangling the annulment idea. He went beserk with that…tipong he gets so confused na di na naman nya alam kung anong gusto nya when it’s brought up. I assured him that I want to stay and work things out. I know and feel that in our heart of hearts, we both want that. Siguro nga, magkaiba lang kami ng pace. Pero I know, when he has a revelation of and encounter with Jesus, he will see his true identity in Him and will be empowered to walk it out.
He says he’ll give me an answer tomorrow if he’ll go with me sa counselor. I told him na it’s more of for me, for my healing, rather than for him, but malaking bagay if he could accompany me sa session na yon.
May life group session kami tomorrow, but tinatamad daw sya pumunta. I told him na gusto ko sanang pumunta kami, but if he doesn’t want, di ko sya pipilitin. I think I’ll go anyway.
Had a good day 1 in the job too today…productive yet had time to be silent before the Lord and intercede for him. I repented for the negative mindsets and wrong declarations too…I surrendered to God anew. I told Mike that am happy because I feel that it will enable me to balance family life with practice of my professions. I told him that i realized how the wives of the patriarchs in the Bible served their husbands (i.e. Sarah kay Abraham), and yun ang peg ko. Nag-sorry ako for not being able to do that before sa kanya, kaya natuwa ako that the past month gave me an opportunity para maging mas maasikaso. Na-realize ko na am happy to be able to cook for him. I told him na I really want to be a good wife to him, and a good mom to future kids. I feel na natuwa naman siya sa sinabi ko though not very expressive.
And so, he’s happily playing Xbox now. Ako naman, am praising God for the answered prayers. He is at work. Hallelujah! There’s hope, because of Jesus. If He could raise a dead man to life, surely He could resurrect and renew a dying marriage. So thank you, thank you all for continuing to pray for us. And special thanks to:
Marie, thanks so much for the WK. It took some time to sink in, and sadly may nasabi na ako sa kanya when it did. Naiinis din ako sa sarili ko kasi I still tend to move ahead of the Lord. Probably hence this test on patience. But thank God that He is bigger than my mistakes and human limitations. Thank God for His grace, and that He is fighting for this marriage, despite mga palpak namin ni Mike.
Pastor Cris, I thank God that He spoke to you yesterday. Sorry po if I was too passionate and confused yesterday. But thank you for being patient with me.
Shawi, thank you for praying with me kagabi. Super laking bagay that I have a praying friend as a neighbor. God is moving. He hears us.
Pastor James and Ate Chim, thank you for the intercession and the encouragement. Pastor James, praying for God to use you mightily, just as I continue to pray for the Lord to soften Mike’s heart and open its eyes.
May, thank you for absorbing my shock and rants. I know I wasn’t very positive kagabi. But I just want to share with you the good news. God is at work, and His goodness is bigger than the frustrating things we talked about. I realized today that more than ever, Mike needs grace, and its God’s kindness (which should also manifest through me) which will lead Mike to repentance. I still struggle with this as well as consistently seeing things and Mike from God’s perspective. Kasama sa tinuturo ni God sa akin ito. You’re right, God is really teaching me to be still before Him.
Please join me in continuing to pray, especially when we take the time out. Thank you, thank you again. God gets the glory for this development and those to come. 😊
PS Sharing also one of the prayers I prayed for Mike today, along with some good news re: my employment status. Sometimes, nakaka-astound how ang bilis gumalaw ni God. I know I don’t deserve this, God’s grace is just so amazing.