Battling Rejection

Last night, a sister in the faith, shared to me about how, in her half-asleep half-awake state, a familiar spirit attempting to copy and even dress like me, appeared to her on my birthday. The spirit wanted to intimidate and paralyze her (perhaps with fear), but the name of Jesus was just too powerful…more than enough to defeat that and any familiar spirit for that matter. 

I felt goosebumps all over me as she told me the story last night. She made the right decision to tell me so, indeed to arrest the familiar spirit, and the reason behind its appearance to her, manifesting my likeness, at that. (Thank God also for the discernment given to her that it was merely a familiar spirit). As a group, we prayed for covering and to arrest that spirit last night. I asked the Lord to search my heart too and we also prayed for restoration of her joy. 

We found ourselves asking these questions:

1. Why did it appear to her?

2. Why did it use me?

3. Why on my birthday? 

Last night, the Lord gave some clues as she recalled how she has disclosed a few matters to me, and also as I conversed with another sister on our way home about my struggles with rejection. In the later convo, the other sister advised me to be careful because issues of rejection can have various ramnifications. 

And just like that, the Lord lifted a thick veil, which allowed downloads of revelation to come rushing forth as I pondered even more before going to bed and upon waking up this morning. The downloads are enabling me to answer the 3 questions posed above, which I shall address in inverted order below.

3. Why on my birthday?

My birthday coincided with Resurrection Sunday this year, and I believe it’s no coincidence. What I thought to be of prophetic significance only for myself, I believe also has prophetic significance for the group that I’m a part of and the women that we will be ministering to. 

My birthday and Resurrection Sunday also coincided with the day I broke my fast for the group. Just when I thought it will be business as usual for me, downloads of revelations come rushing in, by God’s grace. 

Resurrection Sunday has special significance, of course, because God wants to emphasize that the freedom He is bringing to me and others is made possible only through the power of His resurrection –  the very same power that raised Jesus from the dead, and which lives in (just needs to be tapped into) by every believer in Christ. 

2. Why me?

Aside from being the one who broke her fast last Sunday, I believe God allowed the spirit to copy me and appear on my birthday because it was a clue as regards a deep-seated issue, so rooted in my identity, that a spirit has been hovering for most of my life wanting to trap me: rejection.  Just as the Lord has been healing the wounds in my heart, the spirit needs to be arrested. It may be something that is hounding not just me, but also some in the group and maybe in the women that we will be ministering to in the retreat. 

In my life, I realized there has been a pattern of recurring issues, some of which are in the nature of:

Unhealed, this also triggered knee-jerk reaction patterns, which most likely fueled greater hurt, founded or unfounded. It would often make me feel like I don’t belong, hence as a pre-teen, I fluttered from one peer group to another, and even some of my employment issues may have been rooted in rejection. There have been times when I did not join certain ministry groups due to a feeling that I didn’t belong. Other times, like in my secular orgs, I used to feel the need to be involved or rise up to top leadership to belong. It was a lying orphan spirit, which also fueled vainglory to compensate for insecurity. 

Thankfully, with the lessons God has been teaching me through the years, I’ve learned that it was a lying spirit. From head knowledge to experiential knowledge, the realization that rejection is not my fate and identity, because I am accepted, a beloved daughter of no less than the King of Kings, set in. The revelation is still progressing, as God is still rooting me deeper in His love.

This morning, an Ate reminded me that John, who was so secure in his identity as Christ’s beloved, was the only disciple who stayed during the crucifixion. His being in the center of God’s love rendered him invisible to Roman soldiers and pharisees, protecting him from accusation, harassment and threats. God’s love rendered him invisible, as He was so hidden in God’s love. Indeed, there is no fear of rejection in God’s perfect love.

Thankfully, God has caused deep healing.  He has revealed to me the roots of my issues of rejection, and in my quiet moments with Him, He continues to minister to me to uproot the roots. 

The Lord always brings me back to the moment when I was first saved: I was led to surrender my life to Him, and acknowledge and accept Jesus as my Savior and Lord, through a revelation that God’s love for me, especially on the Cross, is real and personal and nothing can separate me from it. 

Years later, God made a tremendous impact with a related revelation. The night before results of my bar exam came out, during worship, I heard God ask, “Will you still love Me if you don’t pass the bar?”. The small still voice stunned me for awhile, but a moment later, something in my spirit rose up and responded, “how could I not love You, Lord, when You loved me first?”

Now, I know, He is exposing remnants for further healing and deliverance. For a new level of healing…towards total freedom! So I can effectively co-labor with God, by His grace. 

1. Why her?

We all experience either being rejected or having rejected someone. In that vein, I believe that spirit wanted to condemn or accuse her in light of her recent challenges. 

Could it be that I was also the face shown to her because she has been experiencing false accusations in relation to rejection, and the Lord wants me to tell her to not listen to them because they are false?

Could it be that on the flipside, a person who perceives himself to be rejected gives off false accusations, consciously or unconsciously, to others whom they perceive to be rejecting them?

But God is more than able to work together all things for the good. What the enemy meant to condemn her is in vain, for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

 To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy . . . —JUDE v. 24

Could it be that God allowed the spirit to appear before her to warn her to be strong and discerning, in light of accusations it may hurl at her, especially when she helps minister to me, in deliverance? 

Could it also be that, she, as the group’s leader, is being given a perspective that most of the retreat participants may struggle with rejection issues? In that light, this seems to confirm, the theme of “a woman’s worth” for the retreat. The post of one of the organizers aptly captures it. 

In that light, I believe it also confirms the aptness of the movie, identity and crowning ceremony in the program.

When the women are reminded their identity in Christ, and made secure in their worth as Jesus’ beloved, rejection simply has to flee. It can no longer intimidate. Freedom! 

This freedom is the reason why this word just resonates so much:

Thank You, Lord, for liberating me and other precious women from rejection! It’s from this freedom, from this thankful heart, that I give you praise. It is from this place of freedom that I want to co-labor with You, by Your grace, Lord, knowing You have prepared those good works in advance for me to walk in (I will just do as I see, You, my Abba Father, my Daddy God, doing) 😊😊😊 

In Jesus’ name, by the power of His death and rejection, I declare the healing of wounds from rejection. No longer shall these wounds cause double-mindedness between security in God’s love and  fear of men in the form of rejection (as well as other related bondages). No longer shall rejection intimidate. In place of rejection, let there be more of God’s love in the heart of each one for each one  and let there be an unshakable sense of security of worth as women of wonder in Jesus! 

Rejection, you are defeated…for you have been defeated at the Cross, in Jesus’ name!!! 


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