Waging War, Women of Wonder

A Beautiful Mind

In the last meeting for the upcoming WoW retreat, a concern was brought up in relation with formally incorporating the group as a legal entity.  When I heard about it, my mind immediately came up with ideas and steps on how to formally incorporate our group, which I shared to our leader. To introduce the discussion to the group, she said that the Lord has already given me a download. The initial thought in my mind was: it wasn’t really a download, it’s just what I do as a lawyer. 

Moments later though, thankfully, the Lord rebuked me with this revelation that is becoming clearer, as I write it down (thank You, Lord!): Even those things that I do in my profession, every advice that I dish out, quick understanding of facts and situations – all of them are downloads from the Lord. Because my mind is no longer of my own, but it belongs to God. It is the mind of Christ, drawing ideas from Christ Himself, when I cry out for wisdom. And I ask for Him for wisdom daily so I should not be surprised with the downloads of ideas that He gives. With wonder and thanksgiving, I should give credit to Him. This is my offering and sacrifice of praise to Him, my Wonderful Counselor, THE omniscient God. 

Humbled, I repented. I marveled, as well, and thanked God for the quick rebuke in my spirit. God gently reminded me of how He used my past season to humble me. Proud of being fast tracked in my career and “wise beyond my experience”, I forgot how my legal career was a mere product of God’s grace. It needed to learn that my strengths were actually weaknesses when left to my own pride and devices…and that even my “logical” and “rational” thought patterns were of no use in those desperate moments. 

In that season, one night that I was driving home, crying, I told God that doing His will in my marital trial felt like I was dying and losing my mind. Through and to a still small voice in my spirit, the Holy Spirit spoke, “Isn’t it that You need to die to self, that I may live in You?” 

A month or so later, I experienced a dawn when  I couldn’t sleep because the enemy’s lies caused thoughts to swirl in my head.  My head ached horribly and I couldn’t pray a prayer. I just called out the name of Jesus repeatedly from 2 or 3am until daybreak. After awhile of whispering “Jesus” in desperation, the desperation turned to praise and thanks, as I began to hear worship songs in my head. As the sun rose, I heard birds chirping, and I was given a knowing in my heart that a new season has come. The promised breakthrough was on hand.

In those dire moments, God overhauled my thought patterns. It was only after those encounters with Him that I was able to embrace His pleasing and perfect will with my entire being (devoid of dissonance leading to psychosis). 

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. – Romans 12:2 AMPC

A beautiful mind is a mind renewed by the Holy Spirit, illumined by the light of Jesus towards having the mind of Christ.  To renew, nay overhaul, my mind, God made use of those initially dark and desperate moments when I seemingly couldn’t find my way out to shine His light in my mind and bring clarity and peace as I focused on Him. 
Those moments remind me of a dream I had in that season: I was in the middle of pitch black darkness and couldn’t find my way out. But towards my right, there was a man, dressed in white as a shepherd. He was the only one I could see, and I was to turn to the right to focus on Him, for He was to lead me out. Upon waking up and pondering on what the dream meant, I knew it was Jesus, the Light who shows the way in the darkness…even in the darkness of our minds. 

He was not the Light himself, but came that he might bear witness regarding the Light. There it was–the true Light [was then] coming into the world [the genuine, perfect, steadfast Light] that illumines every person. [Isa. 49:6.] – John 1:8‭-‬9 AMPC

With a renewed mind enlightened by Christ, we no longer speak with man’s, but with God’s wisdom. Hence, whatever words wisdom we are able to dish out, we should not hoard credit for ourselves despite receipt of compliments. Instead, we should bear in mind ALWAYS that glory belongs to Jesus, who Himself illuminates situations and enlightens our minds. 

Yet we do speak wisdom among those spiritually mature [believers who have teachable hearts and a greater understanding]; but [it is a higher] wisdom not [the wisdom] of this present age nor of the rulers and leaders of this age, who are passing away; but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the wisdom once hidden [from man, but now revealed to us by God, that wisdom] which God predestined before the ages to our glory [to lift us into the glory of His presence]. None of the rulers of this age recognized and understood this wisdom; for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory; but just as it is written [in Scripture], “Things which the eye has not seen and the ear has not heard , And which have not entered the heart of man , All that God has prepared for those who love H im [who hold Him in affectionate reverence, who obey Him, and who gratefully recognize the benefits that He has bestowed].” For God has unveiled them and revealed them to us through the [Holy] Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things [diligently], even [sounding and measuring] the [profound] depths of God [the divine counsels and things far beyond human understanding]. For what person knows the thoughts and motives of a man except the man’s spirit within him? So also no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the [Holy] Spirit who is from God, so that we may know and understand the [wonderful] things freely given to us by God. We also speak of these things, not in words taught or supplied by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining and interpreting spiritual thoughts with spiritual words [for those being guided by the Holy Spirit]. But the natural [unbelieving] man does not accept the things [the teachings and revelations] of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness [absurd and illogical] to him; and he is incapable of understanding them, because they are spiritually discerned and appreciated, [and he is unqualified to judge spiritual matters]. But the spiritual man [the spiritually mature Christian] judges all things [questions, examines and applies what the Holy Spirit reveals], yet is himself judged by no one [the unbeliever cannot judge and understand the believer’s spiritual nature]. For who has known the mind  and  purposes of the Lord , so as to instruct Him ? But we have the mind of Christ [to be guided by His thoughts and purposes]. – 1 CORINTHIANS 2:6‭-‬16 AMP

To speak with this kind of wisdom, from a renewed mind in Christ, our hearts should be teachable, grounded and humble that we know nothing of ourselves. Thus knowing nothing of ourselves, and that it is not our own wisdom, but revelatory wisdom through the Holy Spirit, we should take care always to give God due credit and glory. 

And yes, it was not my own wisdom and experience, but God, out of His wisdom, causing me to access stored data in my mind. He, Himself, caused such data to be stored in my mind, and His Holy Spirit gives instruction to His Spirit within me to process and download the data. 😊 Thank You, Lord! 

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Lord God, my Abba Father, I am speechless at the mention of Your name, Jesus. Yeshua, Yahweh saves. Your Spirit lives in me, dwells in my innermost being. Thank You! Continue to consume me from the inside out, Lord. Continue the good work You have begun in me. 

Jesus, I surrender, I yield, I let go of my mind to You. My mind is Yours, just as my emotions and my body belong to You.

What I went through, Lord God, everything especially in that season of brokenness, I offer to You. I give You my entire being as a living sacrifice. My entire being, including and especially my mind…it’s Yours, You have it.  I was so afraid to lose my mind, Lord, was so afraid to lose control, but I have yielded it out of necessity to You that night. And perhaps, I  have lost it, as is typically human. Oh but Your grace, Your grace caught me, held on to me when I couldn’t. Your matchless grace, Your very being, Jesus. Thank You!

Now, consciously, willingly, I give it all to You, Lord. No longer afraid to lose it, if only at Your presence, and to You and You alone, who holds it safely and perfects it, at the mention of Your name, by Your wonder-working power. For I know that You are the One who flood my mind with Your light, Your very presence illumined by Your fiery heart of love. With Your eyes ablaze with love, You see every nook and cranny with my mind. Break every chain. Enlighten all, especially the dark areas, Lord. Fill it with Yourself, fill it with Your light. That I may have the mind of Christ. And of one mind with You, I may be aligned with You. One heart, one mind. Marching in step, in cadence, to Your direction, Your leading. Co-laboring. Just intimately hidden, intertwined. With me so hidden in You that it’s You who can be seen, not me. 

Oh Lord, You know…there is more, I cannot really express, but You know. You understand. Jesus. I have been so proud before, and I am just so sorry. Thank You, even for the gentle rebukes when I slip back to such proud state. The truth is, I knew nothing, and of myself still know nothing. But only You, Jesus. To know You, not just in theory but in my innermost being. Only You, You are enough. The loftiest knowledge, the loftiest concept is You. The highest pursuit of wisdom is You, Jesus. So You, it is You, I pursue. 

A beautiful mind, because You dwell in it, occupying all space therein, every nook and cranny. No room for anything else, just You and things of You. Take over my conscious and subconscious. It is Yours, Jesus. That I may see and perceive by Your Spirit. Process things, not of my own accord, not relying on my own understanding, but of a mind renewed in and by, and yielded to You. Moment by moment, in You. 

I repent for taking any credit, Lord. All credit is Yours. Any credit given to me, I give back to You, for it is Yours. It is Your mind at work in me, after all. So I give all credit back to You, Lord. In praise, in worship, all glory to You and You alone. 

 In Your name, Jesus, amen and amen! 

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