A former direct report asked me some Qs about depression. Candidly and unashamedly, I replied that it is no stranger to me. I can very much relate to the feeling of waking up and not having energy to do anything. I remember wanting to just sleep all day and not wanting to wake up because I felt that it was the same old drill – I felt that I did not have much to look forward to or be excited about.
Pressured by my father’s memory to perform very well in law school, I was merely an average student performing below my expectations [despite my dad’s efforts to prepare me to be a lawyer, since I was 5 (! exag ang dad ko) and utmost efforts I exerted while in law school – I think my blockmates can attest that I was fairly studious]. To say I was not my happiest in my 5 years as a working law student, despite my then-flourishing extra-curricular pursuits, is an understatement. Year in and year out, I second-guessed my decision to turn my back on a promising career to go to law school. This is why I can relate to this article.
I realize now that I needed to go through all that because amidst the sadness, I found joy and strength in God anew (not in any achievement nor career plan)…or rather, He found me. Some need professional help to climb out of the pits of depression. For me, what worked (and still does!) is honesty before the Lord (of where I’m at) and daily dependence on Him, the Joy of my Salvation. My turning point was when I realized that I mostly felt the way I did because I wanted to be in control, which I was never really meant to have. I started to become happier as I yielded control to Him and allowed Him to steer my course, instead of being led by my feelings and limited understanding. In a nutshell, I allowed God to take His rightful place as Lord of my life, beyond mere religion. I am still on this journey. God, alone, helps me overcome the daily battles. Only in Him am I victorious. 🙂
As law schools proliferate, employment prospects have correspondingly diminished.
The pressure to achieve is great and he suspects a majority of undergraduates are engaged simultaneously in study and some form of paid employment, leaving them short of time and subject to serious levels of stress…
Burnside highlights the dissonance between the idealism that attracts many to law school and the reality of big law firms. “Many, including the brightest and the best, see their earlier ideals looking more naïve, more unachievable.”…
With today’s technology, he says the demands to be available and respond to clients, the courts and other lawyers have never been stronger.
“We used to have snail mail. It was expected that the advice would take a week to deliver. Now it is expected you will respond to an email within minutes. Add to this the invention of smartphones, and lawyers are available almost 24 hours a day.
The above notwithstanding, I am returning to where I first began my career. What a crazy, confusing journey it has been…but the Lord was able to make sense of it all. (Come to think of it, if I hadn’t taken that 11-year detour, I probably wouldn’t have met my husband and my life would just be unimaginable.) Indeed, God works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. May He bless the broken road that led me back (and all the people I’ve met along the way), after more than a decade.
For now, am just praying that I could get some shut-eye asap (Been trying to sleep for more than 4 hours now!). Could this be excitement of the new chapter which unfolds tomorrow?
We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.- Romans 8:28 AMP